Blog — Show Your Work

This past week was the Jekyll and Hyde week — the point where the level of mental fatigue and the level of satisfaction with aesthetics both seem to abruptly skyrocket in tandem. (It makes me feel a little bit bipolar, because I sometimes can’t decide from minute to minute: am I totally crushing this, or do I thoroughly hate my life?)

Mentally, I’m definitely getting tired now. I’m tired of constantly checking the clock to see how long I have to wait until I can eat again. Tired of ‘pacing’ my skimpy workout shake to make sure I don’t run out of fuel halfway through the session. Tired of waking up for a drink of milk in the wee hours of every. single. freaking. night. The overall discomfort isn’t extreme, but it’s just always there, and its constant presence is exhausting. It’s consuming a much larger portion of mental resources than it was nine weeks ago, and there are moments when I’m really ready to be done with this.

…But also, this is the first week where I’ve felt like everything is really, truly lining up. For obvious reasons, I can’t accurately report how I feel ‘functionally’ across the full spectrum of movements right now — but within the range of what I do have access to, I feel both stronger and lighter than I’ve ever felt ‘simultaneously’. Yesterday I did six unbroken strict pull-ups, and this morning I did six unbroken push presses at 113#. Neither of those is a PR — but I’ve never been able to do both those things ‘in the same body’ before.

It also doesn’t hurt that I’m really liking what I’m seeing in the mirror now. The sense of bodily ‘comfort’ is giving way to actual body confidence. Theoretically, I still have three weeks to go, but I’ve hit a point over these past few days where I’ve realized that I genuinely don’t want to lose any more size. If I could freeze time and keep things exactly the way they are right now — the smaller chest, the defined upper back, the glimpses of actual abs (!) — then I’d be pretty damn happy.

I know, though, that the wise RPer overshoots slightly, because there’s an inevitable 2-5# scale rebound at the end of a cut once glycogen stores are replenished. So actually, it’s kind of great that I’m happy with the way things are right now, because once I start reversing, this is probably just about exactly where I’m going to end up.

And, some more good news: in terms of the scale, it seems like fortune favors the bold those who are still moving themselves single-handedly into a new apartment. The combination of increased low-intensity physical activity + having gotten my period on Monday = yet another scale nosedive.

In the context of last week, I was not expecting this at all, but I’ve been pretty steady in the 151s this week. — In the context of *last* week, I was not expecting this *at all*, but I’ve been pretty steady in the 151s this week.

This means I am, yet again, keeping this same set of macros after all. Didn’t see that coming, but (given the aforementioned Jekyll and Hyde state of mind), it’s a pretty big relief.

Speaking of macros — I received a request to please stay on topic. (LOL.) Nah, not really, but I did get asked to include more food- and macro-specific information as it relates to this process. Which I’m happy to do — especially since there are still some macros to work with!

For brevity’s sake, I’ll save the rest day descriptions for another time, but here’s what a typical training day looks like for me, nine weeks deep into a cut.

Meal 1 / pre-workout: black coffee, Premier Protein shake (30g protein), and a toasted English muffin (25g carb) + 2 tbsp whipped cream cheese (per RP, negligible macros).

Meal 2 / intraworkout shake: for me, always 25g vanilla whey protein + 5g creatine, mixed with a carb source. Most recently, I’ve been using powdered Gatorade (basically straight sugar+dextrose, so it suits my needs well). Now that I’ve shifted to having my first meal before training, I’ve managed to wean the shake down to 20-25g carb; however, there are still definitely some occasional days (usually heavy leg days) when that simply isn’t enough, and I end up having to add ‘emergency candy’ mid-session (which I’ve talked about before).

Meal 3 / post-workout: always the largest meal. One of my favorite things lately is a big egg white scramble with 1-2 cups of diced sweet potatoes (25-50g carbs), thrown together with whatever other veggies I happen to have on hand. I’m admittedly still really enjoying ketchup (which I started randomly craving in week 4), and this is a good context in which to use that.

Meal 4 / ‘lunch’: this is consistently a pretty ‘typical’-looking meal. I do a lot of chicken and shrimp, a lot of sweet potatoes, a lot of roasted broccoli. Lately I’m also often ‘padding’ this meal with extra veggies like salad greens or sauerkraut. Pickles and sugar-free Jello are other ways to add a little ‘volume’ in moments when I’m really hungry (these are traditionally ‘free’ foods on RP). I find myself really craving sharp flavor nowadays, so Penzey’s spice blends are featuring prominently (if you haven’t tried them yet, what are you waiting for?!), and red wine vinegar has become my favorite ‘sauce’ to put on just about anything.

Meal 5 / ‘dinner’: I try to have this be another ‘real meal’, but if I’m honest, it’s almost always a Quest bar, especially now. That habit got started because I’m usually at work and therefore need something I can consistently cram down in four bites in between patients — however, it’s also one of very few ways to get 20g of protein in a comparatively tiny 200-calorie package.

Meal 6 / bedtime: the best part of the day… casein! Here’s my preferred version. Lots of people either don’t tolerate casein from a GI standpoint or just plain don’t like it — but personally, I love it, so ever since I first started RP, I’ve kept this as my bedtime meal even when I’m not cutting. (Also interesting to me is the fact that I don’t often crave sweets now that I have this ‘treat’ to look forward to at the end of each day!)

Hopefully the above helps answer a few questions about specifics. I’ll save the rest day ‘menu’ for another time — I do think people’s approaches to rest days probably vary a little more than training days, partly because those days usually ‘feel’ harder in terms of hunger levels (RP’s approach is to allow for fewer carbs — not ‘none’, just ‘fewer’ — on rest days, which means less food overall), so people tend to figure out their own tweaks to suit their individual preferences.

Last week, I outlined the four potential ‘endpoint’ trajectories for this cut that I could foresee. However, this week threw me enough of a curve ball — the scale did not stagnate! — that I think I’ve gotten a bit more clarity.

In short, we aren’t stopping ‘now’ — because, objectively, nothing is ‘wrong’. Nothing hurts. I’m recovering fine. I’m sleeping ‘enough’. I’m performing reasonably well (maybe with a bit less ‘fire’, but certainly above what I would have predicted at this point). Physically, beyond unusually dry skin, I don’t see any concerning signs (no hair loss, no constant chill, no loss of menstrual cycle). I’m way less afraid of losing my hard-fought lean tissue now that I have a borrowed barbell and can lift heavy-ish again. And I may be psychologically fatigued, but I’m not the type of person (anymore) who ‘cracks’ and faceplants into a pizza; that idea feels genuinely far-fetched even now. Hanging in there for at least two more weeks — even if progress slows and stalls — helps ensure that, when all is said and done, I’ll end up maintaining somewhere around this ‘good place’ that I’m at right now.

But — the 13-week option is probably off the table too. First, because I probably don’t have four more weeks of ‘runway’ before hitting my ‘hard stop’ of 148# (I saw 150.6# earlier this week — yikes). Second, because I’m realizing that I feel crappy enough on this macro ‘tier’ that I’m not convinced I actually want to drop things much further, even when the scale does finally plateau. (I’m amazed that I’m continuing to perform as well as I am under these circumstances, and I have no interest in sacrificing that.) And third, because we old-timers know that the first couple of weeks of reverse-dieting aren’t really that much different from cutting; yes, you get more food, but appetite also ramps way up in response. I need to keep some psychological reserves in the bank.

So, at the moment, I’m thinking a smart person would probably call it at 11 weeks. (Which would be exactly two weeks from today — April 17th — but who’s counting?!?)

But… let’s see how many inevitable surprises this coming week holds.

On to week ten!